Life as it Unfolds

Growing Pains

I haven't decided which pain is worse. Growing up or getting older. As the reflection in the mirror changes at a frightenly rapid rate I am forced to reflect on the passages of my life. The turbulent teens, my adulthood and now my newly discovered seniorness. Most of these passages have been a mix of suffering and joy with the feeling of eternity in-between but lately, time feels like it is passing much too quickly. The days and years are going by much faster it seems. As I slide into the downhill years my desire is to slow things down which is quite the opposite of my youth when all I wanted was for Christmas to arrive and it took FOREVER.
The mirror does not lie and now I admit it's a losing battle when it comes to keeping my youthful looks. I have invested serious money in anti-aging creams and vitamins over the years and nothing has stopped the progress of my ever changing appearance. I am no longer told how young I look and I haven't caused a fender bender while strolling down the street since I don't know when.
This is an interesting but difficult time as I enter into this stage of life but I am comforted to know I am in the company of millions of aging women that feel just like I do. I just keep telling myself that I am grateful to have the wrinkles on my face, the drooping jowels and the sagging skin on my arms and belly because I don't want to face the alternative just yet.
There is plenty of time for that long dirt nap. Later.... 

Last Nights Dream

This morning I woke up with tears streaming from my eyes coming out of the most profoundly sad dream. As I quietly moved around the house, I kept wondering what message that dream was trying to tell me. The more I tried to make sense of it the less I understood since it didn't apply to my life at this moment. When I looked back and thought of the saddest times in my life the dream's meaning started to fall together like an unsolved puzzle and compassion replaced the fear and sadness I felt. It was amazing! Then, I saw this quote:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
~Marianne Williamson 

So, life is wonderful at this very moment, and I am happy and will shine on everyone I meet today. When the seasons change as they always do, I will look at this moment and remember it with complete gratitude.

Today is Buy Nothing Day

I admit it, I am a recovering shopaholic. This year, I spent less and purged more and I now realize that I have been in the grips of a lifelong obsession to buy things to make me feel better, more young and beautiful or more cool. I don't usually get into anything political but Buy Nothing Day really caught my attention. Buy Nothing Day is a day of shunning big chain stores and corporations that drive consumerism. Buy Nothing Day focuses on spending time in nature instead of spending money at the mall or online. 

Instead of battling the crowds at the shopping centers, I will be making a few handmade gifts and then if the weather is warm I will take a hike and enjoy the wealth that nature provides.

November 25 is Buy Nothing Day and I will honor it by enjoying what I already have.

 

We'ved Moved!

I have a new address and I am finally home. Moving was the culmination of months of decluttering and letting go and it feels wonderful to be in a new home with great views and less stuff to dust. I didn't realize what I was putting myself through these past five years by living on a busy corner in a run down neighborhood until the experience of a week of peace and quiet in a blanket of safety finally sunk in. I am now settled in and comfortable in my new surroundings. It will take time to find my way around with the lights off but there is so much less to trip over in the dark. I can really say that life is good right this very moment.

Less is More

For the past week or so I have been going through all of my personal belongings and have been fearlessly letting them go. The goal is to live comfortably with minimal possessions yet still function as an artist and crafter. A minimalist artist? How can that be?

My art studio has been the most difficult place to minimize because I keep thinking that someday, I might go back to needlepoint, knitting or polymer clay or that tool is very expensive and I could use it in the future. Despite the voices in my head telling me otherwise, I must continue to make my space free of clutter. I find that I have spent way too much time looking for stuff or organizing it instead of being creative.

Free is not cheap...and less is more.